The Truth about the Powerpuff Girls Reboot

A week after Cartoon Network aired five days’ worth of new episodes of The Powerpuff Girls reboot, I wrote a post stating that despite the changes made from the original, the dynamics of the show remained the same. Here’s how I really feel about reboot now, over a month later.

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Courtesy: Cartoon Network

I take back anything I said about the PPG reboot, because guess what. Nothing in there is the same as the original. NOT ONE FUCKING THING! It’s like the producers who made the reboot took the most glorious, beloved work of art out of the vault, placed it underneath an outhouse in the lowest slums of India, and dumped the biggest shit on it in diarrhea form. That’s how bad it is.

Before you judge me for cussing Cartoon Network out, here’s how they gave The Powerpuff Girls the world’s ugliest makeover.

 

1. Animation inconsistencies

The animation in the PPG reboot is poorly executed in terms of speed and other technical issues that should’ve been addressed before the show reached our television and computer screens. To wit, the episode “The Wringlegruff Gals.” In a scene where Mojo Jojo berates the girls for looking old as hell while walking his dog–they implored Professor Utonium to concoct a potion that, when consumed, will render them as old as their middle school-aged classmates because they got teased for looking like babies–the dog leash disappears from view. Seriously? In the online short “Air Buttercup”, a title reference to Air Bud, Buttercup tries to throw a paper ball into a netted garbage can from as far a distance as the school cafeteria allowed. As the mean, green tough girl attempts to score more than three points, the paper ball flies through the air over the students’ heads as slow as a turtle. It should’ve flown at a higher frame rate than that.

2. Frequent usage of Internet memes

A network animated episode takes about 6 to 12 months to animate, and popular memes die out three weeks after they’ve made the rounds on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Vine. The Simpsons, Family Guy, and other adult animated shows that have been airing since before the advent of social media can get away with employing Internet pop culture because they know when it’s appropriate to feature a meme and when it’s not. On a cartoon show intended for elementary-aged children, especially a reboot, not so much. There are a million memes thrown around in one single episode of the PPG reboot. Bubbles scrunched her face into the pointy-nosed “NO ME GUSTA” face in one episode, and shouted “YAAASSS!!” with the gusto of a 12-year-old girl who’s one year away from being legally able to use Facebook and other social media sites (if she hasn’t lied about her age to create accounts for them, that is) in another episode. The producers even had the audacity to paste in a Windows 7-style wallpaper of a desert as a backdrop for Buttercup’s meditation session in “Man Up” and leave it at that. No good taste whatsoever.

Oh, and they made the girls twerk with a panda who was high on something funky.

Thanks a lot, Miley Cyrus.

3. Balance of old and new villains, or lack thereof

The notorious villains from the original series, like fan favorite Mojo Jojo, doled out the greatest evil schemes that even the Joker and Lex Luthor would be proud of. In the reboot, they’re still there, but they don’t even do shit! We were lucky enough to see Princess Morbucks go at her attempts to include herself as a Powerpuff Girl on one occasion. Other than that, their villainous plots have been greatly reduced to real world humdrums, like Mojo delivering pizza to the PPG’s house. The new villains are… [disgusted groan] SO. FRICKIN’. STUPID! Packrat collects jewels and metal (?) for a solar-dancing doll, Man-Boy is as misogynistic as Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, and don’t even get me started on the pink-skinned fashionista wannabe duo.

 

4. Personality changes and character disappearances

The PPGs no longer seem to care much about the responsibilities accompanied with being superheroes, except on some occasions. They’re more focused on the normal side of girlhood–or, at the very least, girlhood in the 2010s–just as the Teen Titans in Teen Titans GO! are more focused on the daily life of normal adolescence than on crime-fighting. The narrator, an omniscient character, no longer interjects in the stories like any superhero TV show announcer–then again, no narrator was heard in Justice League. Ms. Keane’s breasts have somehow been sliced off. And Miss Bellum, whose face still leaves plenty to our imagination, has left her secretarial post at the Mayor’s office because the producers deemed her offensive. I’m sorry, but at what point in the original series did Miss Bellum offend the young viewers of the late-1990s and early-2000s like myself–or parents of said viewers for that matter? All she did was give reasonable advice to both the dim-witted Mayor and the Powerpuff Girls–and kicked Sedusa’s ass with flair! Whatever the reason may be, writing Miss Bellum out of the show was the stupidest decision the producers made.

 

And last, but certainly not least because this isn’t the top five list of reasons why the PPG reboot isn’t as good as I originally thought…

 

5. Poor handling of today’s social issues

Most specifically, issues concerning the transgender (or LGBT) community. The producers of the PPG proved that much in the subliminally controversial episode “Horn, Sweet Horn.” It centers around a white pony named Donny, who believes in his heart of hearts that he is a unicorn. Bubbles, a firm believer in the existence of unicorns, pressures Donny to undergo a transformation procedure so that she’ll prove to her classmates that unicorns do exist. The girls ask the Professor if he can change Donny into a unicorn. After giving a lot of thought and writing an exhaustive list of negative side effects that can come after the transition procedure for Donny to read and sign, he goes through with it. But instead of turning into a unicorn, Donny transforms into a scarlet bogeyman and terrorizes Townsville. The LGBT community took great offense with how the episode was written, calling it out as a great bias towards children and teens who have already come to terms with their gender identity or are still struggling to figure it out. I agree. Take a look at trans advocate Delia Melody’s “Trans People React to The Powerpuff Girls ‘Horn, Sweet Horn.'”

 

From animation errors to change in cast of characters to the producers’ audacity to offend a marginalized community with a single episode in a time when they’re suffering interminable discrimination by the government–especially with the passing of House Bill 2 (HB2) in North Carolina–I have decided that I can no longer stomach any more episodes of the PPG reboot.

This is just the trouble with animated reboots. The people who create them wish to maintain the legacy of the original series and its creators, whether they’re alive or dead. Craig McCracken is still alive and well, but wasn’t involved with the PPG reboot because he’s invested his time in producing other shows for other networks. Nick Jennings and Bob Boyle should’ve watched the original PPG in its entirety to make the reboot exactly like that, but they watered it down in favor of the animation standards Cartoon Network has set today. It is, unfortunately, the price we pay for harboring nostalgia over the greatest cartoons of our generation.

Now, if you can grant me permission to recite this meme in two words: CHILDHOOD. RUINED.

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Upgrading to the Wii U

Ah, the holiday season–Thanksgiving dinner plans are being made, retailers are staying open for an hour longer starting on Black Friday if not sooner, final exams are coming up (I have three essays to write for my online Ethics class before the final, unfortunately), and people are beginning to think about what to spend their money on for Christmas.

I know Christmas should be focused on the birth of Jesus over material things, but after giving it some careful thought, I decided it’s high time that I upgraded to…the Wii U.

Courtesy: Nintendo

Apparently, my original Wii has been acting up since late July, if not earlier. “Cristina, how is your Wii acting up, and why didn’t you address this problem?” you may ask.

It all started when I was playing Sonic and SEGA All-Stars Racing just to help myself get a hang of my driving experience in the real world. I played on the Seaside Hill racetrack, and right in the middle of the race my Wii takes me back to the title screen not once, but five times.

When I played The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword later, the same thing happened thrice, and I had trouble controlling Link thrice.

I played Sonic Colors, and I had a hard time controlling my favorite blue hedgehog as I was jumping on the construction platforms on Planet Wisp.

Playing Super Mario Bros. Wii the night before the semester began, I had a lot of trouble getting through a level in World 2, and how many times did the Wii take me back to the title screen? EIGHT. FRICKIN’. TIMES!

I haven’t touched my Wii ever since.

I addressed this problem not to my family, but to some of my gamer aquaintances at school. They told me the main reason why my Wii is having these technical difficulties is because of the constant updates the console undergoes each time a new game disc is inserted and the data from the new game is added to the SD card–of course, the last new game I got for the Wii was Just Dance 2015–thus rendering the console itself less efficient than it was in the past.

“Nintendo is basically making the Wii entirely useless to make you upgrade to the Wii U,” said one acquaintance who shall not be named for privacy’s sake.

I thought my Wii was having problems because my mom knocked it off the TV shelf by accident while she was installing her new Comcast Xfinity DVR.

The best thing about the Wii U is I can either play games with the traditional Wii Remote and the Wii Controller, the Game Pad or even both. Plus, I can use Amiibo figurines for Super Smash. Bros or other games on which they’re compatible, depending on the model line they belong to.

Courtesy: GameStop

And the best part about the Wii U? It possesses backwards compatibility for all the Wii games, so I might be able to transfer all the game data from the Wii to the new console.

I think switching to the Wii U will be the best decision I’ll ever make as a gamer. I was contemplating on upgrading to the PlayStation 4 as well, but that’s another story.